Abacoa & Alton Neighbors August 2020

26 Abacoa &Alton N E I G H B O R S | A u g u s t 2 0 2 0 As the new school year draws closer, families across the globe are facing more questions than answers. The “new normal” doesn’t feel normal and we’re constantly pivoting with new information. Since March our world has shifted and morphed into something that looks and feels different from the “Pre Covid” life. This difference disrupted our sense of security, and many of us see our children’s behavior reflect the uncertainty: more meltdowns, more sensitivity, more and bigger emotions, more aggression, frustration, and a shorter fuse. The beginning of the school year will certainly bring more of these feelings and behaviors to the surface, so parents need to show-up for their children while balancing our own uncertainty. Here are some steps we can take as parents to help our families navigate these uncertain times: 1. We make space for our own feelings, so we can show- up for our children as their confident leader. As humans, parents have a right to feel angry, scared, overwhelmed, uncertain, annoyed, or any other feeling as our lives drastically shift. When we feel the wave of emotion coming over us, recognize what it is, and then reach out to something that helps you: call a friend, lean on your partner, take action, discuss different scenarios. Once we’ve fully processed the information and decided on concrete actions, we can present the new information to our children. We set the tone for how our children will approach new plans. If we present plans with enthusiasm and confidence, they are more likely to feel relaxed because “Mom and Dad have got this handled.” Our confidence transfers to them. This doesn’t mean we have all the answers, it simply means: “We are confident in our ability to handle this situation. We’ve got this!” 2. Make space for their feelings. Even if we present the plan with confidence, our children may still have big feelings about the unexpected reality. That’s ok. Our message is:“These are safe feelings. We can handle this.”When your child reacts, our role is to LISTEN. We don’t have to minimize, justify, lecture to “fix” feelings. We simply need to listen so our children feel heard and understood. This sounds like: Quiet: Being slow to talk, quick to listen. Reflective statements, repeating/restating what your child actually says: “You really want to be able to play with your friends after school. It’s not fair that you can’t.” Validation: “I get it. This does stink.” 3. Once you make space for their feelings, help them“switch gears”. We don’t want to wallow and stay stuck in our emotional brain. We want to spend enough time with the emotion to Steps To Calm Back To School Anxieties By Caley Kukla, M.Ed. KIDS CORNER 5