Abacoa & Alton Neighbors August 2020

A u g u s t 2 0 2 0 | Abacoa &Alton N E I G H B O R S 27 KIDS CORNER feel seen, heard, and understood, and then switch gears. What are some problem-solving steps we can take to feel empowered instead of defeated? Example: “You really want to play with your friends in aftercare and that’s not an option this year. What are some other fun ways you could play with friends after school?” Which brings up number 4: 4. Parents are the“safe keeper”for their family. Clearly define “safe” for your family so everyone is on the same page. During this time, families have their own version of what “safe” looks like. Conferring with the primary caregiving adults, including co-parents, babysitters, and extended family about what “safe” looks like for you family unit will get everyone on the same page and bring clarity to the situation. Our brains like clarity, because it feels safe. Consciously defining “safe” activities, safe spaces, and other families who share your version of “safe” will empower both parents and children with options. When parents intentionally create boundaries that feel safe and purposeful for their family, they are more likely to confidently and calmly hold those limits. We can firmly enforce boundaries with compassion by stating: “I love you and it’s my job to keep you safe. I won’t let you do X because it’s not safe. You can do Y or Z instead.” 5. Lastly, we provide as much predicability as possible while remaining flexible to daily needs. I like to call these “Responsive Rhythms”. Responsive rhythms are routines that have “anchor points”. Anchor points are every day occurrences such as mealtimes, sleep time, and anything that happens at a certain time every day. They offer just enough predictability to the brain so that it feels safe, but not so rigid that we get stressed out. The “responsive” piece means we check-in with ourselves and our family to meet the day’s emotional and energy needs. Some days may need to be busier and super productive, other days need to be more mellow and calm or sad and snuggly. Transfer the rhythm into a flexible visual routine. Include the anchor points, then have “flex” pictures that represent the pieces that change based upon the individual needs of the day. Maybe one day you add times in for more structure. Maybe you erase times the next day. Visual routines create a kid-friendly “to-do” list so to speak. When they start to feel overwhelmed or confused, they have a place to go to organize their thoughts. Just like we return to our “to do list” or calendar to help us prioritize and clarify our days. If the concept of a visual schedule is new to you, you can google “visual schedule” or check-out my “Routine Book” highlight on Instagram. As parents in the midst of a pandemic, we have already led our families through uncharted waters. As we gear up for another shift, we can consciously take steps to confidently lead our families through another adjustment period. No matter what the next few months will bring, we’ve got these! Caley Kukla, M.Ed. is a child behavior specialist and the founder and owner of Play with Purpose, a program designed to educate parents about early childhood development and empower them to tame the tantrums, decrease the power struggles, and connect with their children. As a Parent Coach and Play Project Consultant, her mission is to empower parents to understand the WHY behind their child’s behavior and facilitate meaningful parent-child relationships, restoring harmony to your home. She offers services including one-on-one consultations, social classes for your child, and community workshops to meet your personal goals. You can learn more about her on Instagram @playwithpurposefl or her website www. playwithpurposefl.com. Make your business a priority. Contact the Publisher of this magazine for more information.